141Jun 20, 2014
So maybe today–maybe in this—it’s time to press on, even though it’s hard, and it hurts, and you want to give up. “But I’m dying,” she says to me, gasping, sweat gathering like a halo along her hairline. Â She’s waiting for me to say she can quit, but I am not so easily convinced. “You’re […]
142May 23, 2014
This always happens to me.  The thought settles hard, a bitter weed looking to root. Late afternoon, and I feel weary with trying.  We tumble out of the car like the dust we feel, and I am gripped by an overwhelming urge to lay in the grass and extend my arms and lose myself in the […]
143May 9, 2014
I walk into the kitchen from the garage, carrying an armful of things—a bag, a few books, a coffee mug someone left behind—on my way to distribute these and consider the afternoon climb, and one of my daughters presses into me, draping the now dangling legs, grasping me solid, clinging to me with now enfolding […]
144Apr 11, 2014
I start our dinner in the morning so that the smell of simmering will bring warmth to the house all day.  This is also my preemptive strategy to avoid that moment in the weary hours when cooking no longer feels like an art and I murmur there’s still supper, forgetting the ever-constant whisper of the Spirit urging […]
145Mar 21, 2014
Today, this encouragement: Write it down. In her lap, a piece of notebook paper sits folded, pressed beneath her hands. Â She picks it up, fingering the edges and the corner, where the paper turns up like a curling wave. From across the room, I can see the faint blue ruling, the holes at the edges, […]
146Feb 28, 2014
Go. Saturday morning and this is what he says, when I am struggling to wake up, when I am trying to remember how to think. How many miles today?  You should go.  Enjoy it. Enjoy it? Really? Weary growls through my bones. I switch on the lamp beside the bed.  Let there be light. He has […]
147Feb 21, 2014
Maybe—when I capture it here in flat black letters and solid lines, when I carefully trap the moments still within the boundaries of words—it will not appear as romantic as it really is to me: the two of us, finally side by side again at the end of the day. But then, the true value […]
148Feb 7, 2014
In the last fifteen minutes before we rush off to school, I gather her hair in my fingers, smoothing the strands with my thumbs. I trace the unseen bumps and grooves along her scalp and map them in my mind, the geography of her, the feel. Â I know the landscape by heart. Before I can […]
149Dec 6, 2013
It hardly feels like it’s been weeks now, weeks since we sat in my living room sharing friendship, talking about what inspires us.  And when these dear sister-friends of mine turned my question back to me, I said, “A million things.  A million things inspire me.” I listed for them just some and neglected many more, but […]
150Nov 22, 2013
Well okay, not just the holidays. Â I can’t ignore the resounding, soul-altering Comment: Â This is not just for now. We linger, just souls pouring, and in those moments, walls fall. Â The thunderous quake, the crashing of ugly pretense pushed down, is something I feel, something that shakes Heaven maybe, while here, our voices softly offer […]