151Feb 3, 2012
Thursday morning, and it hits me. The tears unexpected, I turn the corner into our neighborhood, thankful I’ve made it well beyond the place where I left my kids before the emotion rolls over me in waves, making me gasp. Sometimes it happens that way. I’m going on about my day, and then I see […]
152Jan 13, 2012
Do not believe that I have mastered contentment. I pursue it…ruthlessly. But just as I feel it graze my fingertips, it disappears, the butterfly I cannot catch, dancing just nearby. Do you struggle, like me? Blessed beyond what you can believe and yet still somehow allowing the ridiculous sigh from your lips? I count gifts, […]
153Dec 30, 2011
I have this thing about white lights in Winter. For a few lingering weeks, after the Christmas decorations have been packed away for another year, white lights will still flicker and blink warm here, winking at me, reminding me that the magic is always, not just for a season. Here and there, a bit of […]
154Dec 23, 2011
2 days before Christmas, and Kevin and I walk early—a treat, Mom and Dad here, the kids snuggling with them in the dark. The breeze feels amazing, blowing in our faces, a reminder of the Spirit walking with us. Tears drip down my cheeks, renewing my eyes, even though I’m not crying. And I can’t […]
155Dec 16, 2011
This is the first year that Adam has been able to tell me what he wants for Christmas. Just a few weeks ago, I stood in the kitchen wrapping my arms around my nine year old son, who laughed but squirmed with discomfort. I kissed him on the cheek and smiled into bright blue eyes […]
156Nov 18, 2011
“But…I don’t want to be fat.” That’s what Zoe said to me, months ago, her diabetes yet undiagnosed, her body slowly consuming itself. I looked at her, sitting there at the breakfast table picking at a piece of toast, and I thought, “I wonder when I started thinking that way.” By then, her bones had […]
157Nov 11, 2011
You say grace before meals./All right. / But I say grace before the play and the opera, /And grace before the concert and the pantomime, /And grace before I open a book, /And grace before sketching, painting,/ Swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing,/And grace before I dip the pen in the ink (~G.K. Chesterson, as […]
158Nov 4, 2011
May your unfailing love be my comfort…(Psalm 119:76) Last night, they sat in the chair together, a boy and his dad. For years, Kevin’s lap has been the place where Adam finds the most comfort. In his most terrible moments, when he cries so hard he gasps for air, this is the place he remembers […]
159Oct 21, 2011
Just when the caterpillar thought his life had ended, he became a butterfly. ~Proverb For days, we stare at the five chrysalides hanging from the top of the butterfly habitat Zoe requested for her birthday, anticipating new birth. Transformation is something we are passionate about, knowing it to be God’s skill, His masterpiece. He’s woven […]
160Oct 14, 2011
Last week, two friends knelt in the dirt beside me, the grass pressing lines into their ankles, and washed my feet. That’s exactly what they did, even if it looked more like twisting shovels into the earth and planting a little hope. We buried the seeds of allium, hyacinth, tulips, and daffodils, tucking them away for […]