Unprotected, that’s the word my friend chooses.  I feel unprotected. I cradle my coffee mug, sipping, immediately drawn to that word as my mind spins to its opposite, making a connection, like a jagged line across the page.  My friend has been describing a problematic relationship, how vulnerable she feels every time the potential for […]

On Monday morning, I wake up sore. Before I open my eyes, a shadowy thought moves through my mind: I can’t do this. I will not be able to do this. The weekend had been consoling and also desolate. On Saturday, Kevin and I had painted walls (renovation!) until our hands and feet felt swollen […]

“I think I know you,” I say, fumbling only a little because I don’t know if she’ll remember me at first, because the last time I saw her, we stood in worship singing blessings over each other. It was dark; we were masked, but I recognized her that night even though I didn’t know her […]

We sit in a restaurant not far away, because she’s tired and I’m tired, and it need not take long to get home.  Time comes and we sit down, having carefully protected the hour.  She begins by announcing a blemish, because our hearts have been friends an uncountable age, and we see no need for glossing […]

She could not have known about the day, its prickly criticism and thick heat, its challenge and pursed lips and ungracious attitude.  She could not have absorbed its unkind words.  She could not have known how it all felt gray, in spite of the sun, or how many times I wondered why am I doing this […]

I sit maybe five feet away, watching women I think of as friends clumped together, laughing.  They touch each other’s arms and smile, a glossy photograph of friendship.  And for a moment, I see only lip gloss and accessories. I forget that these images are a mirage, an illusion, a fashionable scam. I had tried […]

In the morning, this is on my daughter’s gifts list: 83. the ladies coming over, and I look around the room, and in the half-light I can almost still see my sisters sitting in the chairs and cross-legged on the floor, never really leaving me. The friendships of women are no light, temporary thing. I […]