Early morning and the coffee steams.  I wrap my fingers tightly over ceramic, breathing in the morning, stopping hungrily beside a window to gather up the light breaking in the sky, the emerging lines of trees, the faint colors of gold and orange and emerald. I feel desperate for a few moments of quiet waking. “NO, […]

Sometimes for weeks on end, I feel empty and lost.  Gone. I walk around like a shell of myself, dreading the things I have to do, wishing away the moments, missing the gifts. I chew on my own tongue, finding it hard to say the healing things. There’s this space, a gulf yawning wide between […]

Sunday afternoon sunlight dances through the curtains, playing across the table.  Riley’s fingers tap against the computer keyboard.  She sits with papers strewn—bubble maps for planning paragraphs, comparison notes, an interview answered via email.  She stops periodically to move her finger across the page beside her, pausing to say, “Mom, I need help over here—with […]

Clouds the deepest gray, hovering close, and I gather myself into the van to retrieve my children, preparing for the storm.  It will rain soon, and hard.  I can smell it. And I never have enough for this part of the day. Honestly, I laugh and sometimes cry whenever I hear that someone thinks I […]

Last week, two friends knelt in the dirt beside me, the grass pressing lines into their ankles, and washed my feet. That’s exactly what they did, even if it looked more like twisting shovels into the earth and planting a little hope.  We buried the seeds of allium, hyacinth, tulips, and daffodils, tucking them away for […]

You know, sometimes God says things to me with such strength, such PUSH, that I am crazy not to hear Him and insane not to move with Him.  He makes me laugh out loud, because He knows.  He knows He has to speak to me in a thousand different ways, and loud enough that even […]