It can feel like I’m stuck in the dark. And it can feel like life’s too loud. I made a centerpiece for our table out of evergreen boughs, a silver wreath accented with bits of mirrored glass, like gems, tall blood red candles, and a few ancient ornaments.  Christmas decorations always need two things, in […]

We gather as family around the table to celebrate Josh’s birthday—Camille and Ray and Kevin and me with our kids, all following the hostess in the Japanese restaurant like ducks in a line, and I count the blessing.  In my heart, every meal is a eucharist. And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it […]

Gently, I lay a hand on Adam’s back, feeling the knobs of his spine, hard and round beneath my fingers.  Silently he watches as, with the other hand, I press a sticky note down on the desk in front of him. At the top, today’s date, scrawled quickly.  When matters; it anchors the whole thing. […]

In the hallway at our neurologist’s office, as Riley and I breeze along behind the medical assistant on the way to an exam room, I realize again how much my daughter has grown up. It’s a flaw of ours as parents, that while we encourage and facilitate growth in our children, we lack proficiency in […]

In the early morning, Adam and I sit waiting again beside the waterfall-on-a-wall in the oral surgeon’s office, me with my scrubbed face and the early hour puffing around my eyes, he with his hair still snarled in the back where he always forgets to brush. He did not complain when I wrote our schedule […]

Riley walks in carrying a package, her arms wrapped wide around a big plastic mailer, and I suddenly remember to receive God’s gifts and give thanks. “There is a package for Mom,” she says, her chin bobbing against the load,” and I’m guessing it has something to do with Christmas.” She’s right, of course. To […]

Riley stands at my elbow, watching over my shoulder as I peel a gold foil star from a sticker sheet and press it carefully on the grid in front of me. I can feel her t-shirt billowing as she leans, her hair tickling my arm as it slides off her shoulders. “There goes my star […]

We see the pill bottles first, lined up where Riley has left them, like various plastic soldiers standing at the edge of a pill box battlefield, awaiting their marching orders. “Why does she leave them out like that?” Kevin asks, affronted by the implication of a demand, even while Riley sleeps. “Why doesn’t she just […]

Oh the freedom of self-forgetfulness! Happy Friday, friends!

I step inside, temporarily leaving behind the crisp new light and the tittering of birds to go in search of more coffee, opening the door to an anthem of praise. Adam spins open-palmed, for seconds still unaware of me, his lifted face transformed by joy and peace. I stand still, my hand on the doorknob, […]