181
Dec 9, 2016
In like a breeze after school they come, swift and rattling the edges of things, scattering papers and shoes and the crumpled wrappers from their lunches. Â Riley’s cheeks bloom pink with the exhilaration of arrival, as though they’ve been far away and flying and have only just landed home, in from some place now only […]
182
Nov 18, 2016
I remember the year that opening gifts made my daughter weep. She stood in front of me, just there, tight blond curls falling haphazardly around her ears, belly pudging out the shirt of her Christmas pajamas, holding a silvery gift. Â At 3, she still didn’t understand our expectant faces, or even what made toys fun, […]
183
Aug 26, 2016
Buttonhooks, he says. Buttonhooks?  The zucchini in my hand drips. I run a thumb over a crack in its waxy green skin, listening. “Buttonhooks!  ButtonHOOKS!” He tries hard to annunciate; I can hear each letter’s effort, the work to shape it with his tongue.  Placing vegetable on cutting board, I turn toward him, leaning to see […]
184
Aug 19, 2016
The edges of the towel she’s folding don’t match, but I don’t care. Â I rest a hand on the doorjamb and just take it in, the young woman she’s becoming. Â She sees me standing there and flashes me a grin that erupts into sweet laughter as she leans over the laundry basket, reaching, her brassy […]
185
Jul 1, 2016
They cast a long shadow on the lawn, all legs, son in so many ways like his father.  It’s striking.  Nothing really prepares a mother for the moments when she looks at her children and sees something of the adults they’re becoming, the careful sculpting of the future.  No matter how broad those shoulders get, I […]
186
May 13, 2016
She comes to find me on the porch, settling lightly on the double rocker next to me, shimmying her body close to mine. Â The warm wind picks up a stray piece of her hair and plasters it across her forehead. Â She leans against the pillows, considering me briefly, reaching up to tuck that wild strand […]
187
Apr 1, 2016
Adam finds me sometimes, just to talk about the things that excite him. I’m one of the few with whom he’ll take that still awkward step, because he can appreciate the way that I know him, the way womb-forged bonds overcome every other kind of separation.  I almost always know what Adam means to say before he says […]
188
Mar 18, 2016
“Hey now, offer him grace, okay?” She sits in front of me, tears pooling in the pit of the day, and I wash onions off of my hands with soap meant to smell like a sunrise sail.  It won’t be enough.  I know that, but I try anyway.  Hours from now, my fingers will still smell […]
189
Feb 19, 2016
“One. Two. Three. Four,” She says, shuffling the cards in chunky sections that fall too quickly away from her fingers.  The cards thunk and smack against the table.  Riley has developed a ritual even for preparing the game.  She shuffles the cards six times before she deals, grinning at us as we amble to our chairs, dragging […]
190
Jan 29, 2016
Mom, what will you write about today? Â Â Her question is a gift; a jewel in my palm. She sits at the bar looking very nearly sixteen–golden head bent over her phone and all those little flyaways catching the early light; a cup of coffee just south of her hand, steaming; a dozen bracelets sliding […]