Chores
Over track out, my kids are learning how to help out around the house. I don’t know if it’s me, my situation, or just the way parenting happens (Is it an illusion that some of you are just way more “on point” than me?), but most things just suddenly hit me and I think, “Wow. Where have I been on this one?” It feels like it takes me years to get organized, and then all of a sudden things just start falling into place. Anyway, it “dawned on me” as we launched into track-out that it was time for the Three Ring Circus to learn some household-maintenance basics.
I think one of the best things Mom and Dad did for us was to teach us to take responsibility for helping out around the house. I remember housecleaning lessons with my mom. She didn’t require perfection, just that we made our best effort. More than once she gave me a stern lesson about not “doing a half-way job.” Dad just refused to let any of us sit down and rest if Mom was still working. “No one sits down until your mom sits down,” he’d say, and then head to the dryer to fold a load of clothes himself. I remember a time when I lived to help my mom do things around the house, a time when I thought chores were just Mom’s and Dad’s way of making me do the work they didn’t want to do, and a time when I learned (watching my brother Tommy score points:)) that growing up meant not just helping out but doing it without being asked. Now, I look back and realize that Mom and Dad were just preparing us to be independent and responsible adults.
I started off just making all three of the kids help me with everything. Fortunately, we’re still in the “This is awesome, we get to help Mom (girls)” and the “If you can’t beat them, join them (Adam)” stage. The girls were immediately enthusiastic, and Adam quickly figured out that resistence is futile and joined in amicably enough. Then, when I was relaying my efforts to Mom, she suggested that I give everyone their own specific job to do. The next day, the chore rotation was born. The kids LOVED it.
This week, I have had the pleasure of cleaning bathrooms with my son, who absolutely adores the idea that he gets to squirt the Windex all by himself. Last week, this was Zoe’s job, and I distinctly remember that her first excited question was, “You mean I get to do that squirty thing all by myself and wipe it all by myself?!” Adam had a blast today wiping down the mirrors and counter tops. In fact, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him giggle with delight following any statement that included the words “clean up.” He talked to me about what he was doing when I asked, even pausing every so often to come over to the tub I was scrubbing, make eye contact, and smile. Now, granted some parts of the mirror are cleaner than others, and I admit that he used many, many paper towels in the process. Somehow, I was so amazed that cleaning a bathroom could create quality time with my son that I didn’t mind a whole lot.
Zoe and I chatted and chatted and chatted today as I taught her how to fold pants and towels and pillow cases. She’s the “laundry helper” this week, and she could not be happier about getting to push the buttons on the washer and spin the dial on the dryer. All day long, I heard, “Mom?”
“Yes, Zoe?”
“I love you.”
Zoe enjoys our family time so much that she comes to help out with everyone else’s chores as well. Then she just can’t help but say something like, “Look Mom, we’re all here together!”
Riley has found unbelievable satisfaction in learning how to load and unload the dishwasher and wash the dishes this week, but I think the cutest thing of all is her enthusiasm for helping Kevin take out the trash and put the cans by the street on Wednesdays. This morning it was COLD, and I insisted that she put on some socks, shoes, and sweat pants with her night gown before heading outside to help her dad. She knew that this would be Kevin’s last task before he left for work, and she was afraid that she’d miss it. “But Mo-om, I just want to help my Daddy! I just want to cuddle with Daddy while I help him take out the trash.” For some reason Riley has exchanged “I want to cuddle with” for “I’d like to spend time with” in her conversational repertoire. This morning, I stifled a chuckle, imagining Riley clinging to Kevin while they rolled the trash can out to the street.
In the midst of all of these lessons, the coolest thing of all has happened. Whenever I am working one-on-one with one of the kids, the other two pair up and play nearby. Zoe and Adam dance and giggle in the hallway. I don’t know what Adam is trying to tell me, but every time I try to join in, he walks over to me and lays one flat hand on my stomach and the other flat on my back as if to say, “Please, Mom. Just stop.” Compared to Adam, I definitely have no moves. Riley and Zoe play teacher and line up all their stuffed animals, scolding them sternly that they really must be quiet (this is always hilarious to hear coming from Zoe). Adam and Riley get out the balloons I blew up yesterday and toss them around. I love the way those two understand each other. They don’t talk a lot when they play. They just laugh. Then Adam reaches up and cuffs Riley on the ear, and Riley says, “Mom, Adam is doing that because he loves me.”
One thing I can say for sure: While all of this semi-organized pandemonium is exhausting, I never knew teaching my kids to do chores could be so much fun.
