“I said ‘no’!” Adam says, pushing back against his chair just as worship ends. We have only just stopped singing, the sound of our voices only just fades away, diffusing like light in thin spaces, like sweetness carried on the wind. His brow furrows, his hair, which has lately grown long, flips out in response […]

Beside me, Adam’s voice breaks, shattering into silence. I glance over to read his face, careful not to linger lest he feel my gaze; he doesn’t like me to watch him worship. My son could care less if I walk in on him in the bathroom when he’s wearing no clothes and stepping into the […]

On the screen, a dozen boxes, a dozen tiny windows into lives and homes, begin to stack like bricks placed by an invisible hand. You can see me, with my bad posture and my tired eyes, a blinking stone already added to a living, breathing, growing thing. Zooming (Have we already verbed that word?) feels […]

Beside the auditorium door, Adam sways, a reed gently tossed, rooted at the feet. For Adam, this represents an attempt at stillness, this planted shifting of weight from foot to foot. I glance at him and smile, and he bends a lengthy arm, touching his name tag with the tips of his fingers, moving a […]

In the garage, on the way in at the end of a bruised up day, Riley has another seizure.  Kevin, coming around the other side of the car, sees her stop, notices her sudden silence.  He calls her name, and she turns her head but can’t answer. Stuck, her head bobs, like something sinister has […]

Sunday morning, the plate comes down the row, hand passing to hand—young, rough, wrinkled, busy, tired, dark. All of our hands look so diverse, each etched with their own unique lines. Everybody has different fingerprints. I watch as the bread travels toward us, the delivery of the plates facilitated by volunteers standing in the aisles. […]

I look down the row all the way to my three babies, now all taller than me–my girls, their legs curving in all the same places as mine, Adam, with shoulders to match Kevin’s. Laser lights stretch across the room like sunbeams. The beat of the music trembles over my cheeks. Even in the darkened […]

On the other side of a migraine, my Riley begins to sing: From the ash I am born again Forever safe in the Savior’s hands I stop folding and let the warm towel fall from my fingers, listening. She missed worship today, let her head fall like a rock on my shoulder during the opening […]

It’s one of those days with locked-up steel skies and a chill seeping into my skin; one of those days when time bruises our backs and driving to school feels like slowly untangling knots; one of those days when I wonder what caused all this mess but have no real hope for a sensible answer.  It’s one […]

When I walk in the room, this is the other-worldly bit of heaven I see:  a room clogged with dancing royalty, crowns throbbing, faces glittered with joy.  It’s like throwing open a chest full of God’s glory and looking inside:  Confetti spins, pouring from the ceiling, from cannons beside the stage, where the word “SHINE” […]