“Mom Jones?”  Riley’s voice stops me mid-confession. Jones, what Riley calls “our funny last name,” is a silly joke from years ago that eventually became a sign of Riley’s affection. I look at her, startled out of a full-on run to Jesus.  In the space of the last hour, pride and comparison, mistaken identity and […]

While I dice the chicken, one hand gripping the knife, I teach Riley how to make potato salad. “So, what’s the next thing you need to do?” I ask her, nodding toward an armful of a silver bowl piled high with tender chopped potatoes.  Two eggs, hardboiled with the potatoes, peek out from among the […]

I laugh in disbelief.  It is the initial sputtering sound of my mind and heart agreeing, I believe, help me in my unbelief, which is what I feel right now, even if my lips have yet to utter the prayer, as I laugh out loud over the mess of how-in-the-world splayed out in front of […]

My body groans this morning, acutely I feel it crumbling, as Kevin and I head out for an early run, searching for renewal, and not just of muscles and tissues and cells.  Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, the apostle Paul wrote, and as our feet begin to tap staccato, I remember the […]

I run my finger over the scars on the dresser in my bedroom, Grandma, twice etched, raw, like an incision in the wood in Riley’s handwriting.  Always in twos. I murmur the dark echo of an old cliché, the shadow of an old joke still half bitter to me, but only by half, because God […]

On the edge of Autumn, my sister-friend leaves a gift for me outside our door, a smart little bag with lemony wisps of tissue at the top. Inside I find a goldenrod scarf–smooth, silky-soft–and a note. Standing in the doorway with the lengths of that scarf spilling from my fingers, reading my friend’s elegant lists […]

In the late afternoon, I talk to Zoe on the phone, stretching my legs out in front of me, craning my neck toward the window to savor that beautiful golden hue that becomes the light at near-finish. Zoe and I will meander over miles of thoughts, sharing a pilgrim feast while I hold on my […]

Late afternoon, just weeks before college move-in day, Zoe stands at the sink washing dishes, water splashing full against the gleam of stainless steel, and I stand curled over a board nearby, slicing the chicken. My knife, bold and sharp, taps as it hits flesh and board, dividing. She had come home from a day […]

“I guess it’s about that time,” Kevin says, glancing at the clock and then at me, meaning time for us to set aside our books and our lazy attitudes, time to get dressed in our wedding clothes. I think of the dress I bought, hanging upstairs on a hanger in the closet, the silver brocade […]

Why must we struggle through absolutely everything? Sometimes that question becomes the refrain of a day, the melancholy sigh that sounds as I run out of breath slogging up the hills, as a cramp ramps up in the side of my foot, as I stand in the kitchen cutting chicken with my sharpest knife. Pain […]