201Oct 26, 2012
The day Fear lays my friend flat, pressing her back, her head on the hood of my car, the day her tears dot the pavement at our feet, Adam is the only one who knows what to do. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what he lacks. Adam and I have a routine […]
202Oct 19, 2012
It makes perfect sense to me that God brought me here, beside a clear, turquoise sea that shines like burnished silver, iridescent in the day’s dying light, to remind me to be available to Him. Every day, He asks me to be available, waiting, watching, surrendered. The doing remains His, the surrendering entirely mine. God gave us […]
203Sep 21, 2012
She sits, curled on my bed, the polish on her toes slightly chipped, and she reads, absently pushing an errant blonde wisp back from her forehead. I am struck by her beauty, the beauty of having her near. The reading has absorbed her, first her Bible, then the devotional book we gave her for her […]
204Aug 17, 2012
It’s time. I glance at my watch and sigh, not ready to stand, not ready to gulp the last of my coffee and sit the mug by the sink, not ready to see Kevin off to work, not ready to help Adam brush his teeth. Not ready. Never quite ready. Upstairs, we stand in the […]
205Aug 3, 2012
Sunday, she jams all of her money into a fish. Three dollar bills, 2 quarters, 5 pennies, 9 nickels, and one dime—I watch her push it all deep inside with two fingers, hurried, urgent. My mom gave her the change purse for just this purpose. That one dime lodges in the innards of the fish […]
206Jul 27, 2012
Adam has a crush on a beautiful little girl—the fine-boned, blue-eyed daughter of one of my best friends. They arrived at the beach on a Wednesday afternoon, and we stood on the front porch to receive them, wrapped in the thick heat and humidity of the island. The screen door snapped shut against the frame, […]
207Jul 6, 2012
First light. I sit on the porch facing the street, salt glaze on my finger tips, the house silent behind me. I peel back the skin of a banana, staring at the collection of water bottles at my feet. For a moment, I feel jealous of everyone inside, sheets laying lightly on their skin, sleep […]
208Jun 29, 2012
Tuesday morning, I run into the newborn sun, gold and yet untarnished. I wake early, get out while the breeze rushes cool. I think of Riley, breathing my heart to God, whispering thanks. 5th grade graduation happens today, but I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. I know, it seems silly to feel so much […]
209Jun 22, 2012
Saturday, we pile in the van to take Zoe to a friend’s house for the afternoon, and I switch on navigation on my phone. All the times Zoe’s been there to play, for birthday parties, and Kevin has always driven her. Before we pull out of the driveway, the digital female voice has repeated the […]
210Jun 8, 2012
It will look worse before it looks better. Spring cleaning in early summer (because it takes me weeks to find the sabbatical I’ve been chasing), and this I keep reminding myself while making dinner on a tiny slice of counter top in the kitchen. In the background, the collection of pitchers I pushed back to […]