131May 29, 2015
I like doing this with you, she says, and I look away from the wild roses just beyond us in the yard, their bold red beauty twisting madly toward the limitless sky, jutting elegantly through the slats.  Their freedom completely captures me, that and the way they’ve doubled in size, the way they reach in the […]
132Oct 24, 2014
Standing in line, and the black belt whirs, moving my groceries forward and beyond me. Up here in the front of the store, it’s noisy and crowded. Â Lines snake back, crooked and jammed. Â Carts rattle. Â In front of me, the tables in the cafe are full of people talking and eating. Â A little voice cries […]
133Jul 11, 2014
“Would you like an elephant plant?” She asks, holding up a tiny plant in a square pot–terra cotta orange, but plastic—a baby that moments later I cannot find. I’m not sure it’s actually called an elephant plant, but it might be. Â She’s not the best for remembering the names of things, and she lifts this […]
134Jun 20, 2014
So maybe today–maybe in this—it’s time to press on, even though it’s hard, and it hurts, and you want to give up. “But I’m dying,” she says to me, gasping, sweat gathering like a halo along her hairline. Â She’s waiting for me to say she can quit, but I am not so easily convinced. “You’re […]
135May 23, 2014
This always happens to me.  The thought settles hard, a bitter weed looking to root. Late afternoon, and I feel weary with trying.  We tumble out of the car like the dust we feel, and I am gripped by an overwhelming urge to lay in the grass and extend my arms and lose myself in the […]
136May 9, 2014
I walk into the kitchen from the garage, carrying an armful of things—a bag, a few books, a coffee mug someone left behind—on my way to distribute these and consider the afternoon climb, and one of my daughters presses into me, draping the now dangling legs, grasping me solid, clinging to me with now enfolding […]
137Apr 11, 2014
I start our dinner in the morning so that the smell of simmering will bring warmth to the house all day.  This is also my preemptive strategy to avoid that moment in the weary hours when cooking no longer feels like an art and I murmur there’s still supper, forgetting the ever-constant whisper of the Spirit urging […]
138Mar 21, 2014
Today, this encouragement: Write it down. In her lap, a piece of notebook paper sits folded, pressed beneath her hands. Â She picks it up, fingering the edges and the corner, where the paper turns up like a curling wave. From across the room, I can see the faint blue ruling, the holes at the edges, […]
139Feb 28, 2014
Go. Saturday morning and this is what he says, when I am struggling to wake up, when I am trying to remember how to think. How many miles today?  You should go.  Enjoy it. Enjoy it? Really? Weary growls through my bones. I switch on the lamp beside the bed.  Let there be light. He has […]
140Feb 21, 2014
Maybe—when I capture it here in flat black letters and solid lines, when I carefully trap the moments still within the boundaries of words—it will not appear as romantic as it really is to me: the two of us, finally side by side again at the end of the day. But then, the true value […]