Riley walks in carrying her hairbrush in one hand. She’s still in pajamas–soft black, printed with dozens of unblinking owls keeping watch. Her plump, bare feet lightly thwick against the linoleum. She finds me half-together, though to say that can be misleading, since I am never really all put together. Every morning I dress in […]

Early morning quiet and steam dances and curls over the cup, and I sit listening. The many sounds of silence include the voice of God, and His Word always changes things. I scribble the date in my journal and begin to write, glancing back to the Bible still open in my lap. The cover and […]

I admit it:  I don’t want to go. Here I sit at my computer, working, checking things off of my list.  More, I strike them through with satisfaction.  Those lines, they could be the slashed out edges of me, the angles of my shoulders, the sharp bones of my cheeks.  Sometimes I mark my identity […]

Warm greetings in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, wishing you success in your labors. Elisa’s letter open in my hand, I walk into the kitchen, taking in the shape of things, the accumulation of emptied lunch boxes, the scattered crumbs from my children’s after school snacks.  Elisa lives in poverty in Equador, the […]

In the black stillness of morning, I groan, thrusting my toes out into the cold that has settled on the room.  I have no choice but to get up, so I throw off the covers and slide out of bed, meandering around the Christmas tree to feel for the plug.  Let there be light.  I gaze […]

“Aren’t you in the wrong seat?” my friend says, her grin wide, calling out to Zoe. Funny thing is, I’m the only one in the car who feels misplaced. The sky glittered with stars, and we walked through the parking lot, and I saw Zoe turn to look at me, tucking a length of brassy […]

“Who are these for?” Zoe asks, watching as I pour caramel sauce into dessert cups.  The sticky, golden ribbons slide off of the end of the spoon, pooling.   She’s grinning, tossing the words as though in joust. “Well,” I begin, carefully dipping the spoon back into the pot for more of the buttery sweet.  But […]

Rushing out of one appointment and late to another, I discover the text: Riley had a seizure. And in one second flat, I feel as though some vile bully just ran by and pushed me off my careful balance, and that even with my angry, road-scratched palms, I am somehow responsible for the world.  Alone.  […]

Saturday morning, Adam walks downstairs wearing his football jersey, which is blue like the crisp Fall sky, blue like his eyes.  I say walk, but his steps have a certain bounce that matches his wide smile. Maybe autism steals away my son’s words, but Adam’s body has always found its own ways to convey what […]

Caught up in the morning whoosh, I rush to the car, balancing my bag, my water, my phone.  I call out the usual things, looking forward but tossing the words behind me, a list of rapid-fire questions each beginning with “Do you have your….”  Adam walks out close behind me, lightly slinging his backpack over […]