“1,2,3…Okay, Mom—I’m going to count how many people signed my yearbook.  Let’s see how many I have.” And she begins again, confident that she has my attention.  “Let’s see, I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…and here I have 9, 10, 11, 12,”she says, counting the ones who wrote words and the […]

I walk in the room and see Love: Tears leave slow trails on her cheeks and he leans over her, catching the drops with one finger.  He slides his finger along her cheek bones, drawing wet crosses over the smooth, tender skin as she cries. She weeps quietly, the way she used to live.  “I’ll […]

I sit maybe five feet away, watching women I think of as friends clumped together, laughing.  They touch each other’s arms and smile, a glossy photograph of friendship.  And for a moment, I see only lip gloss and accessories. I forget that these images are a mirage, an illusion, a fashionable scam. I had tried […]

“How did he ask you?” She leans forward, a piece of cantaloupe dangling on the end of her fork.  I watch the fruit drip honeyed juice on her plate, anointing terra cotta flowers. Her eyes are full moons.  She waits, as though caught on the cusp of a good story. I follow her eyes, glancing […]

Motherhood is an emptying. And the pouring out, with all it’s awkward splats and splashes, really starts the day God drops the seed of a child, planting a soul in our most cavernous places, claiming the soil of us for His own harvest.  The latching on of new life breaks walls, bruises tissue, draws blood. […]

Over lunch, we talk of how we first imagined ourselves as mothers, smiling down at our fingers. I’ve always longed to be the Proverbs 31 woman.  She is clothed with strength and dignity, Word says.  She can laugh at the days to come.  I don’t know, but somehow the unmanicured edges of my fingernails seem […]

In the afternoons, his daughters run to him. They hear his keys jingle in the lock, and nothing matters except that he’s home.  Words hang in the air between us.  Pencils roll off the table where they’ve been carelessly tossed down.  I lift my hands out of the dishwater and dry them on a towel. […]

We sit at breakfast, light falling easy through the curtains, isolated in a moment that feels slower. She pauses, putting her toast on her plate, chewing on her bottom lip.  “Mom, I’m not sure about the words on some of those Valentines.” I knew we would come back to this conversation.  Last year, when I […]

Okay, listen:  whatever you feel like doing, do the opposite. It’s a war strategy, really.  It’s your secret weapon when the taunts come sharp and deadly, when your enemy thunders toward you, when the ground trembles with the assault.  It’s what I’m learning to do when I face defeat, weariness, complaint, anger, bitterness, pride, fear; […]

I do not know all the things she has suffered. But when she comes to the door, looking empty, I think of something Mother Theresa once said about seeing Christ in His most distressing disguises.  I look in her face, and I see Christ.  And I wonder, Can she see Him now, as she looks […]