141Sep 14, 2012
Sometimes the thief comes early, sliding into our sleep, wrapping his black fingers tight around our throats. He reeks of murderous jealousy, the kind that killed Abel, the kind that taints every breath and sits heavy on the heart. Zoe stands in front of the dry erase board, not yet fully awake, her hair a […]
142Aug 24, 2012
Five o’clock and the day gasping, my children hang on me like satellites in orbit. I stand at the sink, rubbing green beans between my fingers in a colander, the water rushing over, warm. For a breath—just one—I wonder about where these beans grew–what close field, the color of the soil, the smell. I wonder whose […]
143Jun 22, 2012
Saturday, we pile in the van to take Zoe to a friend’s house for the afternoon, and I switch on navigation on my phone. All the times Zoe’s been there to play, for birthday parties, and Kevin has always driven her. Before we pull out of the driveway, the digital female voice has repeated the […]
144Apr 13, 2012
I’m back from a run, my pulse still elevated, sweat dripping. “Mom? You’re sweaty.” Riley’s voice rises from the living room, where she sits waiting on me, her pencil moving over a workbook in her lap. Before I leave, every run, she asks me where I’ll be running, rehearses the steps with me street by […]
145Apr 6, 2012
Today, Adam walks inside smelling of grass, his sharp, blue eyes fastened on me, his stride purposeful. “Hi,” I say, wondering. Is this the day for one of his (His) surprises? “Hi, Mommy,” He says, waving one hand a little. Then he bends down and kisses me. And I am blown, like the withered petals […]
146Feb 24, 2012
She comes to find me and starts the conversation casually, pulling her hair back with one hand, letting it fall. The soft blonde strands, deepening now to brown, float out around her face, slide down along the edges of her cheeks. Her eyes are wells, stronger and more serious at times than her years. Her […]
147Feb 17, 2012
Source: healthyfitandtoned.tumblr.com via Elysa on Pinterest Won’t you come and run with me? The skies are blue, the sun warm and guilding life with gold, the road open with possibility. I am a runner. And it teaches. And I’m not trying to be dramatic about it, but the truth is this: I never believed I […]
148Jan 13, 2012
Do not believe that I have mastered contentment. I pursue it…ruthlessly. But just as I feel it graze my fingertips, it disappears, the butterfly I cannot catch, dancing just nearby. Do you struggle, like me? Blessed beyond what you can believe and yet still somehow allowing the ridiculous sigh from your lips? I count gifts, […]
149Dec 16, 2011
This is the first year that Adam has been able to tell me what he wants for Christmas. Just a few weeks ago, I stood in the kitchen wrapping my arms around my nine year old son, who laughed but squirmed with discomfort. I kissed him on the cheek and smiled into bright blue eyes […]
150Nov 11, 2011
You say grace before meals./All right. / But I say grace before the play and the opera, /And grace before the concert and the pantomime, /And grace before I open a book, /And grace before sketching, painting,/ Swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing,/And grace before I dip the pen in the ink (~G.K. Chesterson, as […]