From upstairs, I hear Riley saying her goodbyes to the members of her online class one by one, and every time the sentence full, as if acknowledgement simply must not be halfway done. In our home, where Autism rises like a wall, interrupting and limiting relationships, we exchange words as valuable currency; we fight for […]

Late afternoon, just weeks before college move-in day, Zoe stands at the sink washing dishes, water splashing full against the gleam of stainless steel, and I stand curled over a board nearby, slicing the chicken. My knife, bold and sharp, taps as it hits flesh and board, dividing. She had come home from a day […]

As we step onto the path, past the gravel and asphalt and through an arbor of trees to the place where the air grows light and cool, I realize two things: I am not wearing the right shoes for this hike, and consequently, I need a walking stick. Roots ripple across the path, rising up […]

“I guess it’s about that time,” Kevin says, glancing at the clock and then at me, meaning time for us to set aside our books and our lazy attitudes, time to get dressed in our wedding clothes. I think of the dress I bought, hanging upstairs on a hanger in the closet, the silver brocade […]

In the kitchen, Riley and Zoe bend over a recipe, their brassy heads close, their hair falling off their shoulders. It never gets old, my kids choosing to be together; my kids working side-by-side. I smile, momentarily distracted from my book. “So, do you want to get the sugar while I get the butter?” Zoe […]

In the waiting room, I sit on a cushy sofa beside a water feature that transforms the wall into a waterfall. Rivulets gurgle, trickling down over curvy metal panels–shiny blue, polished silver, suggesting the play of light over undulating bodies of fish, a pulling current. The water disappears behind a panel at the bottom. I […]

tap, tap, tap taptaptaptap, tap I hear it, a sound like progress, the sound of getting-it-done. I follow the sound into the kitchen, driven to the table where Adam works his way through his daily list, the list I made to keep him found and present, to keep him using his mind. Adam leans over […]

“I’m bringing you food,” my friend says, “on Monday or Tuesday. I’ll bring it frozen, so you can use it whenever you need it.” She waves her hand dismissively, like it’s nothing, but to me, it’s so much. It’s the sudden reminder that I’m not alone, and it’s instant inspiration to love others better. I […]

Saturday afternoon, I twist in a hammock chair on the back porch, one foot tucked up and the other dangling, a book splayed open in my lap. Spinning my way through a story, here and not here, I rest in the travel lands while Kevin dozes beside me, Kindle rising and falling on his chest. […]

The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing. I say it so quietly no one can hear, with my useless hands jammed under my thighs. From the exam room in the oral surgeon’s office, I watch as the dental assistant walks my son across the hall for x-rays. Her long hair, shiny with florescent light, […]