Christmas Steve began years ago, merely a quip in response to Riley’s running Advent countdown. “Just 8 more days until Christmas,” she will say, standing at attention beside the white board, holding her dry erase marker like a wand, shaking it in the air for emphasis.  Riley considers calendar-keeping critical to her sanity, and at […]

From my office, I heard their voices, the soft, deep rumble of Father training son. “Do you still need Lantus?” Kevin asked Adam, who grunted over the forced pause.  What is it about us that we resent the time it takes to grow? Lantus is to long-release insulin what Kleenex is to tissue, merely a […]

Friday morning, while the light’s still new, Adam slides his Father’s Day gift out of hiding. “Play golf,” Adam says, pausing the game he’s playing on the Xbox, sauntering over to where Kevin and I stand talking, dropping the words like a couple of coins in Kevin’s palm.  Adam watches our faces, looking for something–a […]

Kevin walks in the door and the afternoon rushes right in with him.  It’s as though the jostling traffic, the dying sun, and dozens of fading fragments of conversation cling to his shirt sleeves, his warm cheeks. They fall off his shoulders, these things, as the strap from his leather bag falls to the floor […]

We rumble over bridges, wheels rolling across weathered slats, dappled shadows stretching.  Zoe takes the lead, crouching low, blonde hair flying behind her in ribbons.   Kevin trails her gently, restraining his pace just enough to let her go.  Somehow at first, I’m in the middle, sandwiched between these I love–two blazing, two simmering.  The path […]

He places the card in my hand, lightly fingering the rough fold, the paper blue like a storm in the middle of the afternoon or the ocean in places very deep.  I look at the flat, incongruent edges and see fibers; wet, bruised pulp; dye on someone’s fingers.  It’s remarkable to see the beginnings of […]

“Dad, will you pray with me?” Those are the first words that register, disembodied in the darkness.  Those words, maybe six of the most powerful words there are, rouse me completely from thick sleep, even though she addresses her dad.  With my eyes closed, I can see her huddled down close to him, bare-kneed, wrapping […]

In the afternoons, his daughters run to him. They hear his keys jingle in the lock, and nothing matters except that he’s home.  Words hang in the air between us.  Pencils roll off the table where they’ve been carelessly tossed down.  I lift my hands out of the dishwater and dry them on a towel. […]

Morning quiet, the day all new, and as Kevin and I sit eating breakfast in small savored bites, sipping coffee hot and steaming, Adam comes, carrying his notebook. He lays it out purposefully on the table next to Kevin’s place, spreading flat the pages of favorite finished worksheets, pressing his finger into the paper, pointing […]

May your unfailing love be my comfort…(Psalm 119:76) Last night, they sat in the chair together, a boy and his dad.  For years, Kevin’s lap has been the place where Adam finds the most comfort.  In his most terrible moments, when he cries so hard he gasps for air, this is the place he remembers […]