In the hallway at our neurologist’s office, as Riley and I breeze along behind the medical assistant on the way to an exam room, I realize again how much my daughter has grown up. It’s a flaw of ours as parents, that while we encourage and facilitate growth in our children, we lack proficiency in […]

In the early morning, Adam and I sit waiting again beside the waterfall-on-a-wall in the oral surgeon’s office, me with my scrubbed face and the early hour puffing around my eyes, he with his hair still snarled in the back where he always forgets to brush. He did not complain when I wrote our schedule […]

Riley walks in carrying a package, her arms wrapped wide around a big plastic mailer, and I suddenly remember to receive God’s gifts and give thanks. “There is a package for Mom,” she says, her chin bobbing against the load,” and I’m guessing it has something to do with Christmas.” She’s right, of course. To […]

Riley stands at my elbow, watching over my shoulder as I peel a gold foil star from a sticker sheet and press it carefully on the grid in front of me. I can feel her t-shirt billowing as she leans, her hair tickling my arm as it slides off her shoulders. “There goes my star […]

We see the pill bottles first, lined up where Riley has left them, like various plastic soldiers standing at the edge of a pill box battlefield, awaiting their marching orders. “Why does she leave them out like that?” Kevin asks, affronted by the implication of a demand, even while Riley sleeps. “Why doesn’t she just […]

Oh the freedom of self-forgetfulness! Happy Friday, friends!

I step inside, temporarily leaving behind the crisp new light and the tittering of birds to go in search of more coffee, opening the door to an anthem of praise. Adam spins open-palmed, for seconds still unaware of me, his lifted face transformed by joy and peace. I stand still, my hand on the doorknob, […]

From upstairs, I hear Riley saying her goodbyes to the members of her online class one by one, and every time the sentence full, as if acknowledgement simply must not be halfway done. In our home, where Autism rises like a wall, interrupting and limiting relationships, we exchange words as valuable currency; we fight for […]

In the kitchen, Riley and Zoe bend over a recipe, their brassy heads close, their hair falling off their shoulders. It never gets old, my kids choosing to be together; my kids working side-by-side. I smile, momentarily distracted from my book. “So, do you want to get the sugar while I get the butter?” Zoe […]

In the waiting room, I sit on a cushy sofa beside a water feature that transforms the wall into a waterfall. Rivulets gurgle, trickling down over curvy metal panels–shiny blue, polished silver, suggesting the play of light over undulating bodies of fish, a pulling current. The water disappears behind a panel at the bottom. I […]