Riley comes home from work happy, initiating this, “Hey mom? One of the patients was so kind to me today.” She unloads her arms of purse and coffee cup, then unclips the badge from the collar of her shirt, and I wonder what it is about coming in from a day that we somehow also […]

“Hey Riley?” Zoe’s voice comes light from my phone, which sits on the kitchen island in the center of the room as Kevin and I turn and twist around finishing dinner; Adam, announcing his echolalia, paces a fast, hungry track around the perimeter; and Riley sits at the bar facing us, wearing a listening grin, […]

Riley spends her first two days doing orientation course work in a tiny room in the unpresentable behind-the-back-curtain part of the hospital, beyond the helpful forward-facing signs and the corridors frequented by patients and visitors. She shows me the place several days later, when I walk her into work for her first day training in […]

Running late, as usual, I feel stressed. I imagine myself purpling and breathless, like some vile thing has me by the neck as I sit out in the car thumping the steering wheel with my thumbs, willing my Riley to finish her checking rituals—and yes, I took my morning pills, and yes, it looks like […]

I am with Riley now, on her first day of work, the way I will be with her on the third day, when I walk all the way into the hospital beside her, over those high-gloss floors, our reflections trembling and undulating like we’re walking on water, which really comes down–doesn’t it–to a fixing of […]

I’ve been saying all week, unstoppable smile stretching wide, I get to celebrate Adam, meaning that’s at the bottom of everything, and you will think that’s exactly right, as it should be, when I tell you it’s his birthday. Candles with tiny flames will flicker on top of the chocolate Oreo layer cake he requested, […]

“When are we going to take a look at my planner,” Riley asks me, her voice stumbling along, like tripping feet. I glance up just in time to see a tear slide off the bottom of her jaw and feel, suddenly, the wrenching grip of compassion. Immediately on my feet, I move toward her. We […]

I don’t know what it is about a free t-shirt, but when the emcee in the arena on watch party night for hockey invites us to get to our feet and make some noise, promising t-shirts, we stand, a whole crowd of us fans hollering like hyenas, waving our arms in the air above our […]

In the hospital, the hiring manager for patient services has been telling Riley about a job serving meals to the hurting, the sick. “No one wants to be in a hospital,” he explains to her in his office, “and so sometimes the patients won’t be very kind to you or happy to see you.  They […]

It’s predictable, really, that I should be standing over a pile of laundry, smoothing out the cracked vinyl teeth of a monstrous snake-dragon-dinosaur style beast with my fingers, folding Adam’s favorite t-shirt, flashy with the logo of the Loch Ness Monster roller coaster, when it comes to me that generally my view of things is […]