There’s only ever been one perfect love; only one that didn’t come out all lopsided, with smudges all over the edges. Time races up behind me and I have no choice but to microwave the butter I forgot to take out ahead.  I need it to cream, and ice-cold butter doesn’t cream.  I unfold the […]

I can miss so many things. Confession: I have an alarm that goes off like the first faint notes of a sonata half an hour before they get home, before the first one opens the door and drops her book bag right there, her pony tail all wilted.  I have to.  It’s long enough for […]

Mom, what will you write about today?    Her question is a gift; a jewel in my palm. She sits at the bar looking very nearly sixteen–golden head bent over her phone and all those little flyaways catching the early light; a cup of coffee just south of her hand, steaming; a dozen bracelets sliding […]

Late afternoon and the light begins to fade, and we widen the gaps in the window blinds, tugging the dangling strings with our fingers.  Usually, I close up the house instead; slide the curtains closed against the coming dark, press my fingers flat against the chilled window panes.  Tonight though, I switch on the lamps […]

Some days just feel bruised—suddenly all purple-black and sore, tender. Putting the towels away, the still-warm stacks soft in my hands, I lean into the linen closet and allow the tears I’ve been swallowing to come, quietly.  At the moment, I am sick with seems and nevers, near-drowning in shadows and struggling hard just to breathe.  I can […]

Today, this extravagant Gift: Gently, he traces my cheekbone with the edge of his thumb, just lightly.  It is a simple, wordless gesture, so powerfully warm as to thaw the edges of the day. “I know,” I say, “I have a nasty bump there,” thinking immediately of the blemish on my cheek, red and tender […]

Days after Christmas, and their wishlists still hang on the refrigerator, curling slightly at the corners where our nearness, our brushing past, has gently reshaped the paper.  And of course, the lists have been moved a few times–carefully detached to travel with me to the store, lifted once or twice for closer reading, softly touched with an […]

Merry Christmas from our family to you and yours! Each time you read these posts, you give me a gift of grace, and for that I am so grateful.  I always pray that you’ll be blessed by something you find here.  As a family, we pray that today you–whoever and wherever you are–feel blessed and […]

He lifts his arm in my direction and stretches at the same time, poised with two bottles of nail polish in his hand—sparkly red and day glow orange.  The other arm reaches up, up as Adam yawns.  He does not want to be here, and at least he’s honest about it. “Who’s that for?” I ask, […]

This is such a crazy time, isn’t it?! In the end, it is something in every way tiny–a broken hairband, actually, popping and snapping against my fingers–that finally breaks my resolve.  It’s always that way with a slow crumble.  Millions of rips–unseen, unheard, unhealed–weaken the muscle until finally the barest graze finishes the work. I stand behind […]