461Jan 22, 2016
Late afternoon and the light begins to fade, and we widen the gaps in the window blinds, tugging the dangling strings with our fingers. Â Usually, I close up the house instead; slide the curtains closed against the coming dark, press my fingers flat against the chilled window panes. Â Tonight though, I switch on the lamps […]
462Jan 15, 2016
Some days just feel bruised—suddenly all purple-black and sore, tender. Putting the towels away, the still-warm stacks soft in my hands, I lean into the linen closet and allow the tears I’ve been swallowing to come, quietly.  At the moment, I am sick with seems and nevers, near-drowning in shadows and struggling hard just to breathe.  I can […]
463Jan 8, 2016
Today, this extravagant Gift: Gently, he traces my cheekbone with the edge of his thumb, just lightly. Â It is a simple, wordless gesture, so powerfully warm as to thaw the edges of the day. “I know,” I say, “I have a nasty bump there,” thinking immediately of the blemish on my cheek, red and tender […]
464Jan 1, 2016
Days after Christmas, and their wishlists still hang on the refrigerator, curling slightly at the corners where our nearness, our brushing past, has gently reshaped the paper.  And of course, the lists have been moved a few times–carefully detached to travel with me to the store, lifted once or twice for closer reading, softly touched with an […]
465Dec 25, 2015
Merry Christmas from our family to you and yours! Each time you read these posts, you give me a gift of grace, and for that I am so grateful. Â I always pray that you’ll be blessed by something you find here. Â As a family, we pray that today you–whoever and wherever you are–feel blessed and […]
466Dec 18, 2015
He lifts his arm in my direction and stretches at the same time, poised with two bottles of nail polish in his hand—sparkly red and day glow orange.  The other arm reaches up, up as Adam yawns.  He does not want to be here, and at least he’s honest about it. “Who’s that for?” I ask, […]
467Dec 11, 2015
This is such a crazy time, isn’t it?! In the end, it is something in every way tiny–a broken hairband, actually, popping and snapping against my fingers–that finally breaks my resolve.  It’s always that way with a slow crumble.  Millions of rips–unseen, unheard, unhealed–weaken the muscle until finally the barest graze finishes the work. I stand behind […]
468Dec 4, 2015
“You know, even pain is a blessing,” he says to me, standing in the doorway still, where cool ultraviolet light bounces against glossy floor, where the warmth of conversation and reunion and the savory smell of roasted yams and honey ham and three variations on stuffing gives the whole room a burnished tone.  Right there, after delivering that […]
469Nov 27, 2015
Thanksgiving leaves scatter across our table, as though the Wind has carried them in a flying whirl through the windows, twisting them across the grass and through the air to land where we gather to give thanks.  Adam walks to the table, turning first to reach for a pencil.  I feel what he is about to […]
470Nov 20, 2015
Dinner time–almost, and already the crisp darkness makes our window panes cold beneath my fingers.  I switch on lamps to fill the room with light, light I hope will glow well beyond the house, slipping out around the edges of the panels of the curtains, beaming boldly through the glass.  And with the light, I pray […]