401Mar 24, 2017
I find her note on my desk.  It’s just a yellow sticky note written in ballpoint, but the print is her own.  I can almost see her hand gripping the pen. That’s it, a small, blinding-bright effort to encourage, inspired by some of Ann Voskamp’s ideas for living given I’ve slapped up on our refrigerator door […]
402Mar 17, 2017
Finally together at the end of the day, and the murmur of quiet activity is grace. Â Riley sits with her feet tucked under her at the bar, giggling over a word that twisted in her mouth when she said it, all those wispy, mussed hairs falling golden around her cheeks. Â Zoe saunters in on sock […]
403Mar 10, 2017
A mile from school, Adam’s insulin pod starts beeping, that insistant chirp we once never imagined knowing—one two three, one two three–not an emergency yet, but a countdown to it, and just as the stress knot in my neck begins to ease. “Mom, Adam’s beeping,” Riley says, reporting, as though I can tune out the […]
404Mar 3, 2017
Driving home at night in the sluicing rain, I can barely make out the thick white lines that mark our lane. Â Water arcs, pounding dull against the wheel wells, and Zoe says, “Go slow, Mom. Â We’re almost home.” Go slow. Â She’s right. Â It really is the only safe way through. Tonight, it seems easier to […]
405Feb 24, 2017
I don’t know what she first thought when she saw those shoes, empty and waiting carefully, almost in anticipation just there in front of the chair, but I know she recognized them as her father’s. Â The knowledge that he would surely need them soon arrested her progress, stopped her cold in the middle of certain […]
406Feb 17, 2017
In the waiting room, she reaches for my hand, lacing her long fingers through my own. Â She presses her palm flat against my palm until all the lines meet, intersecting for a stretch and then contradicting, all posts and crossbeams. Â Her moon eyes speak paragraphs over still lips, tightly drawn. Â They are imploring blue–those eyes, […]
407Feb 10, 2017
On our way home. Â It was pretty rough. Eight words. Â I toss my phone down on the bed, sighing, and glance into the hallway at the window diagonal to my room. Â Close those blinds and Riley will wrap the cord in her elegant fingers and tug them open again. Â It’s something we share, this affection–a […]
408Feb 3, 2017
She says it like it’s a thing you have to say to feel good about the day: Alright then, so I am pre-pared to be amazed. Her voice falls heavily on the two most important words in the sentence, prepared and amazed, and of course, she draws my attention. I roll back from my desk and turn, […]
409Jan 27, 2017
Standing there elegant in front of us all, she says to him, “I choose love.  I choose you. I choose the wonderful things about you and the things that drive me nuts.  I choose the good days and the bad ones,” and her voice doesn’t even quaver. She is radiant with chosenness, and it strikes me that […]
410Jan 20, 2017
“I didn’t even realize he was wearing his sweatpants,” I say to my friend, gesturing with one finger toward my son, over to the back of the auditorium where Adam now paces, ankles showing blank below lanky black, just above those bruised-up tennis shoes he likes. Â I’m not even sure that the elastic on the […]