From my office, I heard their voices, the soft, deep rumble of Father training son. “Do you still need Lantus?” Kevin asked Adam, who grunted over the forced pause.  What is it about us that we resent the time it takes to grow? Lantus is to long-release insulin what Kleenex is to tissue, merely a […]

In the last gasp of day, Kevin and I wind our way along unknown streets, all squeaky springs and clacking chains.  These bicycles are the picture-postcard kind, sherbet-colored, lemon and mint, with earthy baskets bobbing at the front.  I imagine mine brimming with trailing flowers like they do in greeting card photographs, except that would […]

I hear her through the wall, the rhythmic way she flicks the light switch on off on off on off. “Okay.  Okie dokie,” I hear her say.  “Okay.  Okie dokie.  Okay, and yes, I the lights are off.” I hear the thwoosh of a tissue jerked from the tissue box so purposefully that the decorative acrylic cover […]

The breeze falls light on my cheeks and lifts the flyaways around my ears, moving unseen like the Spirit, holding me carefully as I walk out of the crisp Autumn morning and into the last dying traces of Summer heat.  I allow myself deep, slow, limitless breaths, gazing up at the sky stretching out in […]

Saturday morning, Adam walks downstairs wearing his football jersey, which is blue like the crisp Fall sky, blue like his eyes.  I say walk, but his steps have a certain bounce that matches his wide smile. Maybe autism steals away my son’s words, but Adam’s body has always found its own ways to convey what […]

I hear my son before I see him.  I know by heart the specific sound of his long, flat feet on the hardwood floor at the base of the stairs; I know the circuitous, spinning route he takes from one room to another, checking for me, checking for signs that nothing unexpected has altered the […]

Just awake and still unwilling to peel back the covers, I rub the sleep from my eyes, giving thanks for rest.  My phone, flipped on its face on the bedside table, begins to vibrate and jump like an insect trapped and beating against the window. “What is going on?” Kevin says, stirring beside me. I […]

As long as I lay down and drink rivers of water, I can avoid the spinal headache, that thunderous, gripping madman storming through my mind bent on dropping me to my knees.  It broods, heavy, hiding behind some banded muscle with its club lifted, daring me to move. This, then, is the valley. From here, […]

Caught up in the morning whoosh, I rush to the car, balancing my bag, my water, my phone.  I call out the usual things, looking forward but tossing the words behind me, a list of rapid-fire questions each beginning with “Do you have your….”  Adam walks out close behind me, lightly slinging his backpack over […]

When finally God begins to move me and I carry our quiet conversation back into busier thoroughfares, I find Adam emptying the dishwasher in the kitchen.  He stacks plates and tosses clean silverware into the drawer with percussive clatter, and this with the morning barely an hour old.  The coffee pot still gasps and sputters […]