“Building relationships seems so hard here,” my friend says, offering me a small smile as we walk down the glinting road, our foreheads glistening with early summer sweat. Sunglasses, the lenses gold and amber like a sunrise sky, cover up her eyes. “That’s because we’re all so busy,” I say, and she laughs, an easy […]

“What else I can do to help?” Riley asks again for maybe the sixth time, hands on her hips, that grin stretching wide. Riley loves to help. She asks this of my so-beautiful friend, who stands hot-cheeked and fingering a hasty ponytail, assessing an assortment of baskets heaped with supplies, a row of folding tables […]

Impatiently, I refresh the screen, tapping my foot, jiggling the mouse with my hand. Come on, come on, come on. A few days ago, I sent Riley’s doctor a message on the patient portal, a few questions about upcoming labs and potential patterns. Sometimes parenting a child with epilepsy, especially while adjusting meds, feels like […]

I look down the row all the way to my three babies, now all taller than me–my girls, their legs curving in all the same places as mine, Adam, with shoulders to match Kevin’s. Laser lights stretch across the room like sunbeams. The beat of the music trembles over my cheeks. Even in the darkened […]

I look at the pictures, pictures of my people and me, and I frown. Is my face really that round? I draw my fingers out toward the edges of the screen, attempting–without luck—to magnify the dark ache in my heart. Why did I have to smile so big? In the picture, my eyes look like […]

Storm’s coming. Days before, while the sun still beams in the wide, blue sky, while the birds still twitter and Kevin and I stand on the front porch sighing over the breeze, we friends begin to prepare. My phone buzzes like a bumble bee, and with it my watch, screen shots and shared weather reports, […]

Early morning and the world still new, I walk along the sidewalk, testing the breeze against my cheeks. I wonder if my skin glows, picking up the last gently fading hues of sunrise. On break from crawling traffic and from the hurry hurry usually right on my heels, I find joy in life less defined […]

Rain dots the windshield. Soft new light scatters over the sticky pollen haze, glistening through the baptismal weather. We pull into the parking lot at school, where kids and teachers already work in community, industriously rolling wheelbarrows and large, wheeled trash cans, plunging shovels and rakes into mountains of mulch. They pause to acknowledge us […]

I open the door to my war room–just enough so I can step in–and survey the damage. Extra lamps clutter the floor, making saucer-sized indentations in the carpet. The idea stings–that this would be the room where light sources go into storage. Boxes stuffed and consigned to donation sit against the wall, covering over the […]

“I’m gonna cry,” Riley says, just as her voice begins to break. A bewildered sigh escapes, and she absently touches her own cheek, as though to catch tears that haven’t yet dripped. She has just begun to tell our small group what happened to her, about the seizure that took her from school to the […]