believing is seeing

2 days before Christmas, and Kevin and I walk early—a treat, Mom and Dad here, the kids snuggling with them in the dark.  The breeze feels amazing, blowing in our faces, a reminder of the Spirit walking with us.  Tears drip down my cheeks, renewing my eyes, even though I’m not crying.  And I can’t help but smile.

All week I’ve been asking God to cleanse my sight, help me to see.  It isn’t ever done, this Spirit work of showing me truth, stretching my eyes beyond dirt and flesh.  On Thursday I felt like I looked through fog, the pace of preparation clouding everything.  The season feels compressed this year, and I want to slow time so that I can stop for seeing, so that I can exhale God’s name as my breath.

I wonder, walking in the breeze next to Kevin, about the shepherds.  What had they seen before they fell on their knees and covered their faces with their hands, struck with terror by Reality:  Glory of the Lord ripping open the night sky, an angel hovering huge, filling their view? What had they heard before that beautiful voice and its life-giving words?

Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger (Luke 2: 10-12).

Had they sighed like me, weary, smelling sheep, tugging at the dirt stuck under their fingernails?  Had they wished for rest?  For something more comforting than the soil under their feet?

Moments before, they had to have been stuck like me, humble, inadequate souls entrapped in flesh with weary sight.  They had to have fought, like I do, to see more.  Then, moments later, God shattered the starscape—one angel, promising everything, then “a great company,” filling all space,

praising God and saying,

‘Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests (Luke 2: 13,14).’

And the night changed their now.  Truth rearranged priority.  It made them seekers, looking for the Lord, searching for what He’s done.

Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about (Luke 2:15).

It transformed shepherds into evangelists, proclaimers.

When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,  and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them (Luke 2:17,18).

And that’s why I ask:  Please, Spirit.  Rip apart the sky.  Cut away the calluses on my eyes that I might see.  Show me so well that I, even I, am seeker and proclaimer.  With every breath I breathe.  With every moment, every choice.

Because this is the truth: the angels are still chanting, the voice still a Heavenly echo.  Good news…great joy…he is the Messiah, the Lord.  Glory, Glory, Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth—yes, even on earth–peace to those on whom His favor rests.

It’s so easy to look around these last few days before Christmas and see all the wrong things—clutter on counter tops, the kids’ things accidentally left out, the pillows all crooked on the sofa.  Oh how perverse, how muddied and blind the view! Spit, Savior, spit upon your fingers and place Holy hands on these eyes of mine.  Help me see.  Help me see you as you are now:

…among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest.  The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire.  His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters.  In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance (Revelation 1: 13-16).

Touch my ears.  Help me hear the rushing water, the voices of the Heavenly ones encircling your throne.

And they sang a new song, saying:

‘You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased for God
persons from every tribe and language and people and nation.

You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth.’

Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders.  In a loud voice they were saying:

‘Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!’

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:

‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever (Revelation 5:9-13)!’

Faithfully, He does.  He wipes the mud from my eyes with His fingers.  He redeems my sight.  I open my eyes, and I see Him, the truth about who He is and what He has done.  He redeems every detail, even a holiday once pagan, making it all a proclamation: Christ.  Joy to the world, the Lord Has Come.

I see Him, clearly, in my mother’s hands—folding laundry, baking bread, working yarn and needles into hats—working, serving, in spite of arthritic knots twisting her fingers.

I see Him in every shining light, every decoration, every way the light reflects—His majesty; His light helping us see, illuminating, redeeming all the darkness; His Glory, forever.

I see Him in my children, surrounding the table, loving each other, loving our family.

Can you see, too?  The extraordinary wrapped up in ordinary?  The greatest of these, truly, is Love.  It rips apart the night sky.  It brings a mighty Savior with eyes like fire to dwell in human form, a writhing baby in a virgin’s arms, wailing the shock of earth like those He came to save from death.

I wonder, when Mary bent over His feet, bathing them in her tears, drying them with her hair: Was it only her sin redeemed that made her cry, or the breath of God, Spirit blowing into her face, cleaning her eyes so that at last she could really see Him?  I understand, as He changes me, why she did it.  I want to do it too, use my hair as a towel for His feet.  He shows me Reality, glory upon glory, and He transforms me into seeker, proclaimer.  He washes away the weary and earthly and gives me a view of Heaven, of Kingdom now.

So, I ask.  Because every day I feel blind again.  And seeing isn’t believing, because without Him, I am blind.  Believing is seeing.

~*~*~*

Merry Christmas!  A few gifts for you:

• The sweet taste of Christmas, a few of our favorites this year: Hungry Girl’s Candyland Peppermint Pie…wow.  Also, Caramel-Cranberry Chex Mix, and the blog I found it on, which just rocks.
• Inspiration.  Listen to these.:)
• Music…fill your life with it.  This is our all time favorite Christmas song.  Truth proclaimed…It makes me cry.
• Traditions worth recalling: Get a group together and go Christmas caroling.  Last night, surrounded by some of our best friends, we tromped around the neighborhood ringing doorbells.  A simple thing, really, all of us standing there side by side singing.  But moms dressed in their pajamas sat on their steps listening to us with their children in their arms, smiling.  A couple danced on their front porch.  One man thanked us for the gift, gesturing toward his parents who had just arrived and “aren’t used to this sort of thing.”  We sang to one family who had lost their home in the April 2011 tornado.  They haven’t been living in their new place long, and after the last note, we all shouted “Merry Christmas,” and, “welcome home.”  Such joy, and love spread out, all unwrapped.
• Warm wishes:  Thank you for the gift you are to me, to us.  Here we are, just before Christmas, wishing all of you who meet us here faithfully another year full of blessing and full view of God’s glory.